NUUXS ON THE HEALING POWERS OF MUSIC
We caught up with pop artist NUUXS about how music has helped her heal from her cult upbringing - and the power of being ‘Dreamers’
NUUXS, pronounced ‘Nooks’, is one artist who hasn’t let 2020 hold her back. With four singles out since May and the video for her fifth (‘Dreamers’) dropping today, her determination to break into the UK Indie-Pop scene has been seemingly undeterred by the pandemic - even when it knocked right on her door: “I just had COVID!” NUUXS told VOCAL GIRLS, “I recovered on Saturday. I feel much better now, but it’s just a weird one to have because it’s like ahhhh, is it going to get any worse?”
‘Dreamers’, is a surreal pop ballad for anyone who needs a moment to remind themselves that dreams can and do come true, explains NUUXS. Raised in a cult, the singer was cut off from wider culture until she managed to escape as a teenager. In our chat, we spoke to NUUXS about how she’s used music to heal, the way her upbringing shaped her as an artist and the impact 2020 has had on her outlook on life.
What was your inspiration for ‘Dreamers’?
“It was written a few years back actually. I come from a background where all I had were my dreams - and I know it sounds cheesy, but I really do feel like I manifested [them]! Somehow I’ve just found myself in a really happy place and even though you get your daily challenges in life, from where I was, I think it’s almost unbelievable for me. I’m so grateful to have gotten out of that situation - at the time, it feels impossible.”
When you sing “come and be a dreamer with me”, is there anyone in particular you’re singing that to?
“Not anyone in particular, just someone that’s got that dream to be in a better place. “Come and dream of a better life, there’s a better way, you know!” I guess anyone that’s suffering; even if you feel like you’re just living your everyday life you can still feel trapped and it’s just about feeling free to be who you are. Anyone can feel trapped in their own mind and in their emotions, so it’s just - dream big, really. That sort of spiritual elevation, that’s the dream, to just leave all the toxic situations behind and just be free and light - weightless almost.”
And what about the music video?
“I was actually supposed to shoot the videos for the tracks the day before the first lockdown - and I was just like, oh, great! That’s why my more recent videos have had animation in there, because obviously I couldn’t shoot anywhere! The ‘Dreamers’ video is me, but in a cartoon and I’m in a TV screen *laughs*! My friend was shooting me and she was like “why don’t you move around and pretend you’re floating in space”, so I’m just on the ground but going *wiggles arms around* and it looks SO fake! I think there’s something quite fun about the retro feel of it, it doesn’t have to be that good if you know what I mean - it’s quite funny to look back on!”
How do you think your background has shaped you as an artist?
“I mean as a person it’s definitely made me scared of a lot of things; when I came out of that world I was scared to do anything that was ‘a sin’, so it took me a while to realise my choices were my choices. For a long time, if I went out and had a drink or met someone, there was something in the back of my head going “you’re being judged right now” and that’s taken me years to get rid of because it was so indoctrinated in me. I thought it was just real, but with time I believe you’re the maker of your own future.”
“I believe you’re the maker of your own future.”
Has music been a kind of therapy for you during that process?
“Absolutely! It’s definitely made me look at myself and situations for what they are and helped [me] compartmentalise things. I feel like every time it’s spoken out loud or shared, you can’t really hold it in anymore - it’s out there and you just let it go. It’s been a real healing process for me; some people are just out there to control others and they can’t accept the good there is to enjoy. The innocence inside of you, true feelings, your truest form, it’s being stifled by certain people who just can’t accept who you are. I just wasn’t allowed to do anything - that’s why lockdown is not so difficult for me *laughs*!”
Is it something you’re generally quite open about?
“At first I didn’t want it to be anything to do with my music - I didn’t want to share any of it, I felt so embarrassed. I thought people aren’t going to want to hear about that, or if they do, they’re going to think differently of me - but that’s my story, that’s my truth! It’s just something that happened and I don’t feel the need to hide it. I think that this life I’ve had is just something that I’ve overcome - and if that can inspire someone else to leave an abusive situation, then I guess that’s something I can do, in my own little way.”
Which artists have been your biggest inspirations?
“Oh gosh, it’s so weird because obviously I only listened to Christian music for most of my early teens - but before that I would just listen to loads of R&B and Pop! I loved TLC, Mariah, Whitney - all the big vocalists and I was a bit of a Britney Spears fan as well - still am!
After I left the cult I had to start my own life, so I was waitressing and I got a side job as a singer in some jazz clubs in London. I started off as a backing singer and just worked with a lot of musicians who introduced me to Curtis Mayfield [and] a lot of funk and soul music that really influenced what I do now. As a young girl I used to watch a lot of the old Hollywood films with Audrey Hepburn and I think there are moments where there are choral voices with layers that I use and it’s got that old Hollywood vibe to it - but I like to give it of a hip hop, modern, R&B twist.”
And what has been your biggest takeaway from 2020?
“It has been really character building for me this year. I think I used to worry about so many things that I didn’t need to worry about. It’s good to work hard and to focus on things and manifest things - but in all of it I think we’ve all realised there are certain things you can’t control and it’s important to just take a step back, look around, breathe and realise that we’re all in the same place.”
NUUXS is excited to be performing again: “As soon as I can, I will” she says. “I think for a lot of artists it’s really hard, because when you’re singing live it is a completely different experience to when you’re listening to the record. You’re vibing the same energy as your audience and then they’re getting that energy from you and it’s a real buzz. That’s so important to get people to know you as well.”
NUUXS’s debut album, ‘Heirloom’ is due for release in 2021, but with the pandemic still looming , she’s currently focussing on releasing her singles and letting people get to know her and her music - watch this space!