TONI SANCHO: “I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THAT IT’S OKAY TO SUFFER, THAT BEAUTY CAN COME FROM SUFFERING”

Trinidad-born, London-based newcomer Toni Sancho has just dropped her latest single ‘Goodbye!’ via her own label, Blue Daisy. Fusing traditional Soca drums with dreamy vocals, she has a fluid approach to genre, and she sat down with VOCAL GIRLS to discuss how her identity and experiences inform her music.

How did you get into making music?

I started playing the ukulele during the pandemic. I always had it in my house in Trinidad and when I moved back to London, I had a strange instinct to bring it with me. When I had a very bad break-up at the top of the pandemic, I came home one night and just picked it up. I only knew basic chords and I remember just playing around with it and not taking it seriously, until I sang something that actually made me feel better. I didn’t know how to express the pain I was feeling - I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone - but with making music it was almost as if I could look into my suffering and heal it at the same time. I just kept returning to it until it was a necessary part of my day; I became addicted. 

How would you describe your music in three words?

Heartbreaking, vulnerable, liberating.

Photo by - Marco Grey

You’ve spoken about how your previous single ‘Don’t Wanna Break Your Heart!’ meets at the intersection of Caribbean and British cultures. Is this aspect of your identity a strong influence on your work?

Yes, it’s beginning to become a large part of things. I think at first because I identified with this relationship for so long, I felt all I could write about was the loss of this love and the sadness that remained. Music in a practical sense has been a tool for me to improve and explore myself past my suffering. It’s brought me a lot more confidence and has allowed me to examine the nature of my upbringing for the first time.

I was born in the Caribbean and spent the first half of my life in England and the second half in Trinidad. I had always felt like a contradiction before. I don’t sound Caribbean, but I am Caribbean, and so there was always a need to justify myself to everyone: a need to prove the fact that I am Caribbean to my people, and also to prove that even though I may sound a little English, I’m not. This song was the first moment I felt completely justified and understood in my identity as it is. I underestimated the amount of relief this would bring me, so I’m very interested to continue exploring this with my Caribbean heritage, but also with my Blackness in general. I encourage everyone to do this in their own way.

‘Don’t Wanna Break Your Heart!’ was also the first single from your upcoming debut EP. What made you choose it as the lead single?

I think it was very important to give the context of who I am, before I continue to be as vulnerable as I intend to be on this EP. The music was written in the pandemic and I absolutely understood that time to be the end of days - I thought we were witnessing an apocalypse. The music is written in such a desperate manner; I’m saying words as if I feel like they’re never gonna be heard. To be honest, I never believed that they would be heard by anyone. The fact that people were interested in [2021 single] ‘Survive!’ blew my mind. I think after waiting so long after ‘Survive! - which is a similar type of raw singing into the void - I wanted to show a level of growth. I wanted to show that I am becoming more than this sad vulnerable girl, and that I’m finding myself through this work.

Your sound has been compared to Daughter and Florence + the Machine, but what other artists are you currently most excited about?

I’m really excited about No Name’s new album. I think it’s a masterpiece and I really needed it when it dropped. I love Frank Ocean always, Kendrick Lamar always. I’ve also been getting into The Streets recently and this newer artist Katie Eyo - I got obsessed with her track ‘No Body’.

What’s the main thing you’d like people to take away from your music?

I think the main thing I want people to understand is that what I’m doing here is just being myself and trying the best I can. I’m not perfect and I don’t understand myself, and this is all okay and still worthy of love. I want people to see that it’s okay to suffer, that beauty can come from suffering. All of this music was written at a point where I was in so much pain and I really didn’t feel like I had a place in the world. 

But I want people to see that it’s worth it to endure because if you move through your suffering, your place in the world will be on the other side. I definitely found my place in music. I can’t figure out what else would’ve worked for a person as strange as myself. So I want people to see that if I can find a place in the world, then everyone does. And if you’re thinking about giving up - don’t.

What are you up to in the lead-up to releasing the full EP?

I’ve just played a gig at my favourite dumpling shop in Hackney, The Luk Bros. The Luk’s are actually my band members, so it was very special for me. My whole story is that I wouldn’t have pursued this as a career if it hadn’t been for the encouragement and guidance of my peers. I’m finally at a phase in my life where I feel like I’ve conquered this sadness that I’ve carried around for so long, and this is all because of the support of the community around me. This show was just a way to honour all of those people and to celebrate the progress we’ve made. And I’ll be playing a lot more live shows in general. That’s what I’m most interested in at the moment; perfecting the performance of these songs and the emotions tied to them. I’m finding it very healing. 

What are you most excited about once the EP is out?

I’m excited to release this pain and period of my life; it’s very liberating in a sense. I hope very much that the music helps people manage their own pain. I’m also excited to be able to perform these songs and connect with people in real life. I haven’t been performing for very long, but there’s a level of connection that happens when you perform vulnerable music for a room of human beings - I’m becoming quite addicted to it. Getting feedback from the audience has been really fulfilling and is giving me a lot of confidence as an artist, so I think I’m just excited to master things. This EP represents me first discovering my love for music. Music helped me move though such a painful part of my life, so now that it’s over I just feel indebted to the craft in every way. I spend all my time trying to get better at it; it saved my life, so I’m just excited to become the best musician I can.

‘Goodbye!’ is out now via Toni’s own label, Blue Daisy.